Marriage proposal no.10

The score is 9 to 1. In total I have received ten marriage proposals (so far) during my time in Israel and Palestine. I confess to this being a rather pleasant experience.

Who would not enjoy men stopping you on the street and then starting to serenade you, singing ‘I love you –will you marry me?’ It is also quite interesting to know how many camels, goats, sheep, donkeys or rabbits you are worth in their eyes. The currency change according to what they can afford, and it reflects something about the differences in resources.

Whilst on vacation in Petra, my colleague Simon was offered to buy camel milk to refill his stamina, so he could handle his two wives. Then when he said this was not necessary, as we were so beautiful, instead Simon was offered to sell one of us, for ten camels, two donkeys and one hundred liters of petrol. Whilst this is my most memorable moment from Petra, it sadly reflects the role of women as a symbol of status and wealth, and as a product to be sold and bought.

Yet by making it that simple, you circumvent the respect for women that I have experienced in the culture. Women are something precious. They are taken care of and it is a privilege to be allowed to meet them. One man was looking for his third wife, and wanted me to meet his mother. It opened up the whole family world, and enabled me to meet his wives, daughters and his mother. If you take matters too seriously then you miss some rare opportunities, such as listening to a woman who has been tortured.

Yesterday whilst I was standing by the western wall, observing all the Israelis and Jewish tourists celebrating Jerusalem Day, I received my first Israeli marriage proposal. The setting was quite surreal, with hundreds of soldiers, children waving flags and a high security alert. At first I was certain he was an undercover agent asking me questions for a completely different purpose. My weapon of choice is to smile, answer all questions as vague and polite as possible, all the time remaining calm and cheerful.

I discovered a bag in the middle of the square, obviously abandoned, and tried to alert my colleague Helene of the risk of a bomb. The security guards started shouting, a police officer reluctantly walked up to check it, and they announced on the speakers for the owner to come forth. All the while, whilst Helene was thinking of all the damage a big suitcase could cause, and with her own experience from being Norwegian, crawling in her skin – he did not flinch.

He only had eyes on me, and confessed to having found the one woman he had been looking for all of his life. For him it did not matter that I was not Jewish, all that mattered was that he could see I had a warm heart. How he could tell all this just by looking at me, I do not know. But it is rather flattering that he had the courage to come up and talk to me, regardless of my reaction. Afterwards me and my three colleagues were sitting having coffee in a lovely garden, joking about the scenario. They refused to let me go to a man who starts the conversation with "I have been watching you", and we all had a good laugh.

I have received more marriage proposals here than anywhere else in the world, and as far as I am concerned that is one of the charms with this place.